- The Icelandic Government is considering a ban on circumcision. As the UK rules this out, there is increasing suspicion of upcoming Government cuts.
- The Government plans to use church spires to increase mobile phone coverage, so when you get your bill and say, “My God, how much?”, you might get an answer.
- Hedgehog numbers in the UK are ‘down by half’, warn wildlife groups, although if they look at the other side of the road, they’ll find the other half.
- Low rates of pay and workload pressures mean care services can no longer fill key posts in England, a watchdog says. The National Audit Office said a lack of government planning and funding had undermined the “Cinderella” service and its 1.34 million staff. The big question now is, “Where will people go to try on shoes?”
NHS England is banning super-sized chocolate bars from hospital shops, introducing a 250 calorie limit for sweets, a 400 calorie limit for pre-packed sandwiches, and a 5 gram added sugar limit per 100ml of drinks. At this rate it won’t be long before people don’t want to be in hospital anymore.
It has been revealed that a patient in Dumfries and Galloway was kept in hospital for 508 days in 2013/14, waiting for a discharge. He has since been signed to appear in the latest Viagra advert.
A major trial of a drug to treat mild dementia due to Alzheimer’s disease has ended in failure, when doctors forgot where they’d put it.
A recent report from Public Health England has said that older people are living longer.
Isn’t that what makes them older?
“Well, Fiona, these babies, they can be brown, they can be blue, they can be violet sky, they can be hurtful and they can be purple. In fact, Fiona, they can be anything you like.”
“Thank you, Cathy. Cathy Robbins, our South America correspondent, reporting there on the spread of the Mika virus.”