Mine’s a collie

I’ve just found out there’s a Chinese dog-eating festival.

I suppose the clues were there. We have hot dogs. We call dachshunds ‘sausage dogs’, and to be fair, there is more meat on one of those than there is in most sausages, but I hadn’t realised that in China they actually eat dogs. At a festival, so it’s quite a jolly thing, apparently.

Does the dinner time conversation go like this?

“Would you like something sweet to finish off? Maybe a Pavlov?”

“Oh no, thanks. I’m too full. Maybe I’ll just squeeze in a chihuahua with my coffee.”

“Don’t make yourself feel ruff.”

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