Best hold it in

In the news today, a plane was hijacked by its co-pilot who flew it to Switzerland to seek asylum. He took control of the plane, locking himself into the cockpit, when the pilot went to the toilet.
This has led to a major rethink of recruitment criteria at the airline. Now, after the interview and exam sessions, they take everyone down to the pub and make them drink five pints of beer. Then they just sit there. Last one to get up gets the job. Use of footwear is allowed as long as there is no leakage, as that would be unpleasant for the next pilots in the plane.
Other situations where a small bladder capacity could be a problem:
1. Siege negotiations – the chief negotiator returns to the scene with an empty bladder, only to find the hostage taker has left in the helicopter provided, taking the bag of cash with him.
2. Soccer team transfers – the manager nips off to relieve himself just before the closing of the transfer window, and comes back to find the owner has sold his best player and only striker. But don’t worry, he’s got a loan player from Accrington Stanley to make up.
3. The Treaty of Versailles – the Allies come back from a toilet break to find World War I has been declared a draw.


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