No smoke without fire

The invention of e-cigarettes means that you can now have smoke without fire, but only if you are over 18. The UK Government is going to ban under-18s from buying e-cigs.
It’s getting increasingly difficult to look cool as a teenager, isn’t it? First of all, they stop you carrying penknives around, when all you want to do is a bit of whittling as you lean against a wall at the street corner. Then they stop you buying alcohol, and then cigarettes, and now pretend cigarettes. Even if you pass your driving test, the cost of insurance will stop most people driving until they’re about 30 years old, and you’re made to go to school until you’re 16.
Next thing you know, they’ll be passing a law saying you can’t show your pants above your trousers in public, which is currently the coolest thing of all. Then they’ll bring in sports jacket legislation (the Harris Tweed Act of 2015), closely followed by the Plus Fours Laws (if you don’t know what they are, look it up). The EU Directive on Laser Tattoo Removal is currently going through the European Courts, and the House of Lords is due to debate membership of popular beat combos, with a possible recommendation to prevent anyone under the age of 40 learning to play the electric guitar or drums. Dad-dancing would be compulsory for all males over the age of 20 when in clubs, and then only when the club singer isn’t on stage.
Then we’ll all have to go back to being naturally cool. Well, I say “all go back”. I can still remember Richard Wardle at school. He never made it in the first place.


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