New research into dieting

It had to come now that we’re starting a new year. Research into dieting was in the news today. Someone has been trying to find more out about the science behind dieting. On this diet, you eat 1000 calories the first day, 500 calories for the next four days, and you can eat what you like for the next two before starting the cycle again.
Guess what.
When you eat that little, you lose weight.
Stone me! Who’d have thought it?
Presumably, no matter how much you try to eat on your two days “off”, it just isn’t physically possible to eat enough to make up for the other days. At least, not for a prolonged period of time. I had a good go over Christmas. By the end of it, my stomach was so big that when I lay on my back I looked like a camel. But without the spitting.
Anyway, I’m thinking of applying for a research grant. I have a theory that staying awake for days at a time makes you feel quite sleepy and a bit sick. I reckon £50k should cover it.

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